Secrets

Secrets. They exude mystery and intrigue. They protect, shame, and boast. Secrets can promote self-reliance but also leave you with a sense of entrapment in your own mind. They are infinitely complex. As human beings, we crave honesty. We fear the possibility of being made a fool by lacking insight in any given situation. Insight, being held captive within a secret. Insight that, if revealed, would alter our decisions, approach, behavior, or response. 

Some say we are inclined to view a secret as inherently bad, but is that true for all secrets? Sometimes we must keep secrets to protect ourselves. For example, growing up gay in a society that might sentence you to death for it. Other times, it’s the pull of shame on our heart and psyche that holds us back from revealing a secret. Why is it we resent secrets being kept from us, but we rationalize keeping a secret from someone else? Perhaps it is because, on occasion, we keep a secret with noble intentions. Like, intentions to protect or shield people. Yet, with that decision, we are withholding truth and robbing others of the opportunity to gain a fuller perspective, one that could help themselves. Let’s say we shared that same secret even if it was difficult for people to hear at the time. As a result, maybe their coping skills would be further honed and strengthened? Maybe they would be able to better handle life’s tribulations? Knowing that secret could prompt them to make a decision that could have unforeseen positive consequences in the future. Alternatively, and I think what many of us fear, is instead, sharing the secret could weaken them and make them less able to handle difficult circumstances and subsequently have unforeseen negative consequences in the future. If that is the case, the good you had intended by revealing the secret would get enveloped by heartache, pain, or sadness. Wow, what power we possess as potential secret-keepers. What to do, what to do…

Simply put, we are only human and we do our best. We make decisions to reveal or keep secrets based on our ability to perceive the potential resulting consequences at the time. Our brains, while they are incredible, are limited. We are not God…even though, for some reason, we have an innate desire to know all things. But, let’s be honest, do we truly want to know everything or, every now and then, is ignorance bliss? Even if we did know all things, would our emotions prevent us from being able to “handle” all things? Something to think about. In any case, I’ll leave the omniscient business to deity for now. 

 So, I have to ask…next time we are faced with a secret, will we hold on or will you let go? Whichever path we choose, we must use caution, but more importantly, employ wisdom.